Above: Preliminary airship diagrams drawn up by Gnomish Explorer Yodel Swindelfoot in the year 1288 after discovering ancient airship wreckage buried deep underneath the Gnomish Empire.
I silently take the verbal assault and when it appears to be over I say, in an even tone: "Admiral, I do not mean to be rude. I simply take my obligations VERY seriously and now that I have had the time to review that document I will fulfill my obligations to the letter. Unto death and judgment. Reprimand and outbursts will not be necessary."
(Azora)
In response to the immediate issue with Admiral Toenail:
"My apologies, Admiral." There is no irony in my voice or demeanor. I stand beside Larper and await further instruction.
(Larper)
"Hey now everyone. We're all here for the same reason so there's no call for anger. I'll ask that you reserve your judgment of my companions until you witness our might in a skirmish!"
I enthusiastically kneel down and clasp the gnomes shoulders and mistaking them for dwarves start introducing myself.
(In dwarven)
"Well met friends! I am Larper of Sundabar, son of Dellium and heir to the Eyearrell empire. What manner of vessel is this? Do you have a tavern? What region are you from? Have you brought ales? Care for some cider?"
I'll heft up my pony keg of cider on to my shoulders and expectantly hold the spigot down to the gnomes' faces.
Admiral Toenail puts his hands over his eyes and groans. "Dogalif Doog..."
Lazzard doesn't have to take part in the document signing being a Gnomish crew member already.
Lazzard, you're up in a crow's nest serving as lookout. You have a long spyglass and are surveying the entire area around your ship. It is a clear day aside from a few fluffy white clouds. Fairly warm for Fall, especially this far North. The sun is shining down and you feel quite invigorated. It's almost time for a drink! You are starting to climb in altitude.
Wympbumpe steps forward after interpreting for the admiral.
"Please forgive my Uncle, I mean the admiral. He is a proud man. He is very learned and has seen much of Faerun in his many years of traveling; though he gets frustrated with the larger folks. He always thinks they are looking down upon him."
I open the door of his cabin. As it opens, it hits the face of an eavesdropping gnome. About 10 gnomes around him go from looking completely surprised to acting like they are going about business in a matter of seconds. "What are you doing? You fools mind yourselves or I'll give you a free flying lesson! Who's on deck now, anybody?? You there, Snizwillis, aren't you to be on watch now?"
Continuing on, "Of course, an explanation of our customs is in order. Please allow me to show you more of the ship while I explain some basics."
"Give the admiral the evening to fume, come tomorrow he'll be back to his old self. First thing to know is that this is his ship, therefore his law. What he says goes, and that may change from day to day. Get used to that. Show him respect deserved to his status and you'll be on his good side. The men on this ship are fiercely loyal to him because he is fair, just and most of all pays well."
I open the hatch to the common area. Two gnomes sit smoking pipe weed while another plays fiddle and a couple dance. A game of chance is being played among three gnomes in the corner. They see you and say "YARR!" almost in unison. "Here we have the common room. You'll find gnomes here almost any time of day." The space is cramped by human standards. The whole party takes up nearly 3/4 of the room.
The cook calls over to Wympbumpe in Gnomish. "The cook asks if you're hungry. As per your status you will be rationed fresh meat and vegetables, a luxury reserved for officers and dignitaries. Not to mention rum, not just grog, but real 100% rum."
Wympbumpe shows them the rest of this deck, passing the ladder (stairs) to the engine room. "You're not to go down here, understand? That is of course if you value your lives. If you want to know how to avoid severe punishment then don't think about entering the engine room."
Leading them on the way to their rooms past some sleepy looking gnomes he gives further instruction "You'll be awakened early to go over your new duties. We have recently lost a large portion of our crew and need all the help we can get. The work may seem demeaning at first but you'll learn some valuable skills and be doing us a huge favor. A favor that we'll repay in gold. You'll each receive the 50th gnome's cut."
"Remember, talking back to the admiral or a superior or disregarding their orders could be seen as mutiny. Mutiny is not looked upon kindly as you can imagine, much like treason on land. The Master-at-arms is only too eager to inflict punishment on transgressors. You may be large but he can still make you hurt and how! Also magic is frowned upon on this ship, unless authorized. Sir Azora, we kindly ask you to refrain from magic use on this vessel unless otherwise permitted. No offense to your skills but some wizardly magic can interfere with the steam powered centrifuge... Oh crap. I shouldn't have said that...... All the same, keep your spells to yourself for now."
Wympbumpe opens the door to a small room. "Sir Azora and Lord Larper these will be your quarters. It may be cramped, but I'm sure you'll make due."
Cramped would be an understatement. Head room is nonexistent and if you put your head at one end of the bunk you cannot extend your legs. Yet there are two bunks and a chest under them for your equipment.
"One more thing, purple is the color of commanding officers. Please don't wear that color unless you enjoy the taste of lead. Have a good night gentlemen, I must say it has been a pleasure to meet you."
"Prelate, if you'd follow me please." Wympbumpe leads Dominu to his quarters. "Due to previous arrangements with your matriarch you will have your own room. You may do as you wish here, but understand this, your god is most feared by our people. After the Time of Troubles, any god with his profile is reviled amongst gnomes. It will take much work to undo this preconception. But I trust that you will prevail with your wisdom. I'll leave you to yourself. Good night Prelate Dominu."
Your room is much like Azora and Larper's but you are the only occupant. While cramped it is not too uncomfortable.
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